


The Cards We're Dealt

by alnima



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity, Secrets, Zayn has a kid that he hides from Liam, mentions of past character death, minor narry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 08:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alnima/pseuds/alnima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam learns his husband has a secret. A four year old secret that was supposed to remain hidden in Vegas.</p><p>Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cards We're Dealt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PornyZiallFeels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PornyZiallFeels/gifts).



> Warning for extremely brief mention of past character death of drug overdose. Another briefly mentioned character death. Brief mentions of a bad childhood and bad relationships. If you need any clarification please comment and I'll be happy to answer any questions. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't know or own anyone. This work is my own and it is not featured on any other site, nor does anyone have my permission to repost it in its entirety. Thank you!!!

Liam opens the very last box that’s lying in the middle of the living room floor. It’s the box that holds all their photographs that he likes to have scattered around the house. It’s three months into his new marriage with Zayn, they’ve been together six years, and they’re finally almost done unpacking in their forever home. 

Liam had taken the day off work because he was determined that this was going to get done. They were grown men and they couldn’t keep living out of boxes that were thrown across the front room. Or going out and buying things they needed but couldn’t find. It’s been two months since they had moved in and Liam was positive that they really couldn’t stand to live in a barren home much longer. 

He smiles as he sets the framed portrait of them at their wedding ceremony down on table behind their couch. It’s one of his favorites from the night; they’re staring into each other’s eyes while promising truth, trust, devotion, and love for as long as they lived. It wasn’t a large ceremony nor does Liam really even remember it. He knows that it was fun and heartwarming and one of the best nights of his life but he had spent the majority of it wrapped in Zayn’s arms and whispering words of pure devotion to each other. He sighs as he realizes just how lucky he is to have someone like Zayn in his life, because Liam’s love life, and life in general, hadn’t always been this blissful. 

He had grown up in a broken home where his mother had left at the age of eight to live in a condo in Florida with some guy named Skip. He gets a postcard twice a year informing him that she’s still alive, and happy. After she had left he stayed with his dad for a year before he was shipped off to live with his grandmother until fifteen when he his dad showed up drunk and dragging Liam out of her house and back into his. 

He left home the day he turned seventeen and moved in with Niall, a boy who had an ad in the paper about trying to find a new roommate. It was from that point that Liam’s life had begun to pick up and his love life began to diminish. 

Liam had gone through a list of past relationships that all ended horribly. Danielle, the pretty little dancer, he began dating in high school. He had fallen head over heels in love and believed that they’d be together forever until one day she told him that he wasn’t enough for her. She just couldn’t pretend to enjoy being with him any longer. She said she thought Liam was a nice guy, but she wasn’t really looking for nice anymore. She wanted danger and someone who could keep her on her toes. 

And then there was Annabel. She was small and curvy with long red hair and she was full of surprises and Liam couldn’t help himself when he fell in love with her. But true to form she surprised him one day by letting him know that she was really into other girls and in the end Liam admitted that she wasn't the only one harboring feelings for the same sex. 

It was a year later when Liam gets an invite to her wedding. He politely declined because it was the same time that he had just started to date Andy. He was a drug addict and four months into their relationship he began leaving bruises on Liam in places nobody would find. The relationship ended when he shot up too much and Liam found him sprawled out in his apartment, a bag of needles scattered across the floor, and his heart no longer beating. 

Then there was Maz who had cheated on him with a boy who worked at the movie rental place down the block from Liam’s apartment that they went to every Friday night. Liam had found them fucking against his washing machine one afternoon. And Liam would be lying when if he said he’s surprised that Maz had never called him again. And it was three months later when Liam had met Zayn. 

Niall had managed to drag him to a club where he was trying to hit on the bartender, Harry, and he wanted Liam there to ward off any potential suitors that looked too invested in Harry. Liam still doesn’t know why he was forced to come because Harry has always been Niall’s. But it was there that they had met Zayn; he was Harry friend, Louis’, friend. He had spent the night ignoring Zayn and all of his advances and his whimsical eyelash fluttering. 

Two weeks after meeting he had ran into Zayn at the supermarket where he followed Liam around like a puppy muttering how he wouldn’t regret a date with him. The week after that he found out that Niall had cracked and gave his number to Harry who gave it to Louis who gave it to Zayn. It was eight weeks after they first met that Liam decided to give him a chance. Liam couldn’t find it in him to trust anyone anymore. Zayn had patiently stood by as the wall Liam had built fell down brick by brick. Liam had spent the first years of their relationship wondering when Zayn would leave but he didn’t. And the rest is history because the only person who has ever made Liam feel like he’s worth much of anything has and always will be Zayn.

It’s forty-three hung picture frames later when he flops down on the large black leather couch and breathes a sigh of relief. They had worked hard to finally be able to get this house and he’s proud of the fact that it’s finally finished and put together. Zayn had tried his hardest to help but every time they set out to do it Liam would find Zayn curled up on the couch wrapped in the quilt his grandmother made him when he went off to college. Hence why he took the day to complete it himself.

He’s contemplating taking a nap himself when the door bell rings. He grumbles as he gets up to answer it, carefully to not trip over all the empty boxes left scattered across the floor. He’s mildly surprised when he sees a woman standing in front of him dressed in a business suit with two tiny feet clad in green converse standing closing behind her, so close that Liam can’t see his or her face. 

She explains that she’s a social worker from the state of Nevada and that she is here to talk to a Mr. Malik regarding important legal matters. 

“Which one? I’m Liam Malik, or are you looking for my husband, Zayn?” Liam’s worried it has something to do with their recent marriage, the only thing he can think of that would bring someone wanting to discuss anything of legal importance. 

She studies him carefully for a moment, “Well I was here looking for your husband, but being as though you’re married then I guess you’ll work just as well. Mr. Malik, I came here today to inform you of the death of one Miss Ariel Wilcox. She passed away a few weeks ago and after going through her final will and testament we have found that she has left her son, Joel, under the care of Mr. Malik, your husband, as the sole legal guardian due to his being the child’s father.”

Liam frowns because he can’t think of a time that Zayn has ever been to Nevada, maybe on a business trip or something, but he’s pretty sure that Zayn has never spoken a word about an Ariel before. He also knows that his husband has never spoken about every having any sort of children. 

He tries to peek around the woman to get a good look at the child, but the most he can see his little knobby knees and bright green shoes. He guesses the child to be no more than five years old and that thought only intensifies his frown because there isn’t anyway Zayn could be the father.

He doesn’t realize he’s spoken the words out loud until he hears the social worker say, “I’m sorry to inform you Mr. Malik but your husband is the father. He’s listed as such on the boys birth certificate and also when the child was taken back to his home to collect his things he grabbed several photographs that contain him with an older man. Tan skin with dark hair and hazel eyes. Is that your husband?”

Liam stares at the woman with wide eyes. She came to his house to drop the bomb on him that Zayn could have possibly fathered a child with someone while he was with Liam. He shakes his head at the woman and swallows the lump in his throat. She smiles sympathetically and reaches into her pocket. She pulls out a card and passes it to Liam. She tells him that the child is a ward of the state until Zayn contacts them. She urges him to call them as soon as possible. 

When she turns to leave the little boy walks in front of her. Liam didn’t get a chance to see him. He has no idea if he’s got raven hair like Zayn does or if his eyes are a soft hazel. He wonders if the child has Zayn’s catching grin or maybe he had inherited Zayn’s ears. Liam’s inability to see the child hinders him from being able to confirm if the woman had been lying or not. 

It doesn’t stop him from panicking.

~~~ 

Liam calls over his friends as soon as his head stops spinning. Louis is lying on his couch while Harry and Niall crowd each other’s personal space in one of the armchairs. They’re all staring at him intently. He had called them in a panic; shouting down the phone line that it was an emergency and he needed them here immediately. 

When they had gotten to his house he was paralyzed. He couldn’t figure out how to work his legs to answer the door and he had been staring at the wall in a stupor wondering what he’s going to do. 

“Liam? Liam, are you okay? Is it Zayn? Is everything okay? You gotta talk to us mate,” Niall says as he reaches out to wave his hands in front of Liam’s face until he finally looks over at him. “Hello, so you wanna tell us why you called us over here?”

“A woman showed up here today.” Liam launches into the story on how she had knocked on their door and informed him that his husband has a secret love child. How that secret love child apparently has pictures of his husband and the mother of the love child had written Zayn’s name down on the birth certificate. 

When he finishes telling his story he glances up and sees that all of his friends aren’t reacting like he was expecting. Harry is looking down and playing with the string on Niall’s shorts. Niall is chewing on his fingernails and his eyes show nothing but guilt and sadness. Louis has shifted into an upright position and he’s gnawing on his bottom lip. 

It dawns on Liam what’s happening, “it’s true isn’t it? The little boy, Joel, he’s Zayn’s son, isn’t he? And you all knew didn’t you?” No one says anything and Liam nods because every person who holds any importance to him has been lying to him for four years. “Well that’s great. My husband cheats on me and tells all my friends about it and they choose a side and decide to never tell me. Instead they let me live under the false assumption that Zayn has remained faithful to me. Did anyone think ‘oh wow they’re getting married maybe we should tell him the truth?’ What in the fuck has been going on?”

“Liam it’s not what you think,” Harry says and Liam has to resist the urge to throw his fist back and connect it to his right cheek. He doesn’t because he knows even though Harry will instantly forgive him that Niall won’t. 

“I mean it doesn’t look good but it didn’t happen how you’re picturing it.” Liam looks at Louis and prompts him to continue. “Well remember a couple years back when you two got into that crazy fight and I spent the night with you while those two spent it with Zayn? And we both did our own things to make you forget what happened?”

Liam nods because it was the worst fight that they have ever been in. They spent a week apart and Liam stops and wonders how long they’ll spend apart for this one.

“Well while Louis was here with you getting you proper drunk the two of us thought it would be a good idea to take Zayn to Vegas. I won’t go into details about what happened because that’s Zayn’s story to tell not mine but Liam he got so drunk,” Harry says. 

“A couple months later he found out Ariel, was pregnant and they couldn’t just kill the child so she kept it and Zayn goes down there as often as he can to spend time with her and the kid,” Niall finishes. 

Liam is silent for several minutes. He wonders what he did to deserve the betrayal of every person he’s ever encountered in his life. Not just the ones he meets but the ones he truly cares about and loves. What did he do to deserve the knives they’ve lodged deep into his back? 

“I think it would be best if you guys left.” His voice is low, almost dangerous, when he talks. “I think its time you guys went home. I want to be alone.”

“Liam, please,” Niall crawls off of Harry’s lap, “we’re your friends. Talk to us.” He reaches a hand out for Liam. He flinches and slaps the hand away from him. 

“How dare you call yourselves my friends when not one of you cared enough to tell me before now. How dare you come into my life and lie to my face everyday. What did you all sit back and laugh about how dumb I was and how everyone was included in your little secret besides me? Does it make you feel good to hurt and lie and betray people? I want you all out of my house.” He points towards the door and roughly wipes the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes. 

“Li, we didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Liam laughs and it’s hollow and broken, “Please leave. I just want to be alone now. Zayn isn’t here and he’s obviously the only person anyone cares about anymore so until he’s home I’d really like for you all to go.”

Liam doesn’t watch them go but he can hear them walking across the hardwood towards the front door. They exit quietly and Liam attempts to steady his mind and breathing. 

~~~ 

It’s not that Liam wanted to give Zayn the sense that nothing was wrong it’s more like he wanted to see if he would open up to him. His husband has been lying to him for four years and the thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle the situation. His first instinct was to run into their bedroom and throw all of Zayn’s clothes on the front lawn and set them aflame. Or he wanted to break everything that Zayn held dear, but Liam was already broken. 

They had promised each other from the start that they wouldn’t keep secrets and they wouldn’t lie to one another. The obvious secret about his birthday present or where they were going to surprise each other for their anniversary were okay to keep. Liam could handle not being told that Zayn had bought them a house as a wedding gift or the time when he surprised Liam with a weekend trip to the beach. But a child with someone else wasn’t a birthday gift or a weekend getaway. It was a blatant act of betrayal. 

So when Zayn enters their house shouting his arrival and carrying a bag of Chinese food into the kitchen Liam pretends that everything is okay. He smiles and accepts the kiss that Zayn places on his skin. He gathers the plates and even brings Zayn a glass of water. 

Their meal is going smoothly and Liam tries to engage the conversation but in the back of his mind he keeps seeing tiny green converse and little skinny legs that he knows belongs to someone that is half of Zayn. 

Zayn’s phone begins to ring from his pocket and he pulls it out and checks the ID and laughs, “Haz has been calling me non stop. I think he botched another site design and needs my help.” 

“You haven’t called him back?” Liam asks because that Harry hasn’t ruined another website or forgotten some part of html; he’s calling because he wants to tell Zayn about Liam’s hurt and anger. 

Zayn finishes chewing and then says, “no I had a busy day at the office and couldn’t take time away. My boss has been really riding my ass lately.”

Liam nods and instead of asking about Zayn’s boss, he asks, “Zayn can I ask you something?” This is it. Liam can’t wait any longer to find out if Zayn can man up to his secret. 

“Of course, babe. You don’t need to ask. What’s on your mind?” Zayn asks with a lopsided little smile on his face. 

Liam swallows, “do you want children?” He asks and it’s not the question he meant to say but it’ll due. 

Zayn looks at him thoughtfully while he finishes chewing. “Obviously I want kids. I mean I can’t really think of anything I want more with you. I want to start a family. Maybe not now though because I kind of want to spend some time alone with you first. I mean we’ve spent six years along but not as a married couple.” He throws in a wink and Liam forces a tight smile. 

“So you want to have kids…with me?”

Zayn blinks and stares for a moment, “Liam what’s gotten into you? Of course I do.” And Liam wants to believe him but the nagging thought in the back of his mind reminds him that Zayn already has a child and it’s a child with someone else; he’s already started a family with someone that’s not Liam. 

“I’m just curious. I mean you do want to have a family with me, right? You wouldn’t sneak off and have one with someone else, would you?” Liam asks. He surveys Zayn’s features and Zayn doesn’t even bat an eye at the question. 

Zayn reaches his hand out and grabs onto Liam, “I wouldn’t sneak around, Li.” He smiles and it almost melts Liam’s heart. Almost. “Have you been watching movies that Harry recommends again because I told you they’re basically soap operas and they won’t do anything but ruin you like they did Harry.” He winks to show he’s kidding. 

Liam smiles but he wants to jump up and flip the table and scream and shout and demand to know why he would have a family with someone else. He can’t really wait much longer but he wants Zayn to bite the bait he’s being thrown. He wants Zayn to tell him. “You know I was thinking today while you were at work about baby names.”

Zayn smiles fondly and says, “yeah and what did you decide?” He reaches out and strokes Liam’s cheek while he waits for an answer. 

“Well I couldn’t decide on a girl name but I really liked the name Joel, don’t you?” Liam asks and Zayn swallows and carefully removes his hand from Liam’s face. “Yeah I just thought what a lovely name for a son. I think it would really be good once he got to about four or so.” He takes a quick bite of his rice and says, mid chew, “what do you think of the name?” When Zayn locks eyes with him Liam’s smile is saccharine and Liam doesn’t miss the way that Zayn flinches. 

“Liam-“ Zayn starts but Liam interrupts him. 

“Save it, Zayn. I already know every thing. But I feel like I should applaud you. I mean four years telling the same lie over and over again that’s got to be some kind of record. And just now when you said you actually wanted children, or well kids with me, I mean even I almost believed you and I’m the most gullible idiot around,” Liam says. He grabs his plate and empties it into the trash before tossing it into the empty sink. 

Zayn is still sitting at the table with his head in his hands. He turns to face Liam with a sad look in his eyes, “Li, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have hid it. I’m so fucking sorry. How can you think I don’t want kids with you? Are you serious? I wouldn’t have married you if you I didn’t want to have a family with you.”

“I’m sure you are,” Liam says with an eye roll. “Did you marry the mother or is it only men you marry when you want their children? I mean it is considerably harder to adopt if you’re not married, especially for a gay couple. You know how long did you expect this to go on? How long were you going to hide the fact you had a child when you were with me? What were you going to surprise me when we had to go to his high school graduation?” 

Zayn stands up and makes careful steps towards Liam. “We weren’t in a relationship. No—well—I guess we were but remember that horrible fight we had?”

“Harry and Niall already explained to me that they took you to Vegas and you fathered a child so why don’t you tell me something I don’t know.”

“I was drunk and upset and Ariel was there so we thought it would be funny to hire a hooker-“

“YOU FATHERED A HOOKERS CHILD?” Liam roars. 

“Fuck-shit, Liam I didn’t go out with the intentions of getting her pregnant. I didn’t think hmm yeah I hope she gets pregnant so I have to come down to Vegas twice a fucking month and lie to my boyfriend. This wasn’t some plan to get back at you or try and see how badly it could hurt you down the line.”

“Wait…you go down to Vegas twice a month?”

“Shit,” Zayn mutters under his breath. 

“But aren’t you on business trips?” Liam gasps with acknowledgement when he connects the two points. “So you’re not really on any business trips are you? You just lie to me and leave town twice a month to go play house with your son and your little mistress. Holy shit, I feel so stupid right now.” Liam is wiping away the tears falling from his eyes. 

Zayn visibly slumps when he sees how upset Liam is, “I never wanted to hurt you. I knew I had to tell you but I couldn’t find it in me. I didn’t want to be like your exes. I didn’t want to hurt you like this. That’s why I never said anything.”

“Yeah well,” Liam says, “you’re not much different are you? I mean this wouldn’t be the first time I was cheated on and lied to about it. But this would however be the first time that I’ve ever been with someone who sneaks around with a family behind my back.”

Zayn looks like he’s just been slapped on the face and as much as Liam wants to kiss the hurt right off he doesn’t move from across the room. Zayn sighs and says, “how did you um how did you even find out about this? Did Ariel call?” 

Liam shakes his head and knows this is the part where Zayn is about to hurt and Liam’s heart is about to break even more, “no she didn’t call. A-um-a socially worker showed up at the door, she had Joel, and well Ariel died. I don’t know how or why but she did and apparently that means that you have to take Joel in, since you’re on her will and his other legal guardian. She left and said she’d be in touch.”

Zayn falls down onto the couch with tears in his eyes. He doesn’t say anything just begins to cry, and Liam wishes that he wasn’t wrapped up in his own broken heart so he could go over and comfort Zayn, but he can’t. “The funerals already happened. I’m sorry that no one told you before now.” Liam steps forward and passes the card she left to Zayn, “she left this card and said to call her as soon as possible about Joel. I’m sorry for you loss, Zayn. I’ll be in the guest room.” He turns and walks away. 

Zayn stops him when he says, “I’m so, so sorry I didn’t say anything before.”

Liam sucks in a lungful of air and continues walking towards the guest room. He can’t find it in him to lie in the bed that belongs to him and Zayn. 

~~~ 

It’s two days later when Liam agrees to meet Harry at the coffee shop around the corner. He still hasn’t spoken to Zayn or heard him out about what happened. He’s too busy wallowing in his own self-pity. 

It’s not healthy and it’s not good for their relationship to not talk out their problems but Liam can’t help but continue to feel that dull ache that radiates throughout his chest when he thinks about Zayn and the little green converse. 

He orders a latte and sits down in the armchair next to the doors just in time to see Harry walk through them. Harry bypasses the counter and instead slinks down into the chair across from him. 

It’s timid conversation at first; Liam asking how Harry is doing on his latest website and if Niall has gotten lucky on finding a job. They talk html and Niall’s inability to get through an interview without cursing something or someone. Harry’s expression gets all soft when he talks about Niall and it makes Liam think about Zayn. 

“So have you and Zayn spoken?” Harry asks as he takes of sip of Liam’s drink. 

Liam watches and waits to say, “that night after I kicked you all out. But no, we haven’t. I don’t think he’s called the social worker yet. I haven’t actually seen much of him.”

Harry frowns, “I’m really sorry that we didn’t tell you sooner. You know we all love you but it just wasn’t our secret to share. Zayn kept coming to us and he’d be so upset that he couldn’t tell you. He didn’t want to hurt you, and I know he did but honestly Liam it was never anyone intentions.” 

“I know,” Liam whispers as Harry slides his chair over and wraps himself around Liam. “Have you, um, have you ever seen him? His son?”

Harry shakes his head, “no we haven’t. We only knew his name and that Zayn went to see him. We tried, you know, to get him to show us pictures but he said he wanted you to be the first person to see him. I think it was some sort way for him to make up keeping him a secret.”

Liam smiles softly and rests his head against Harry’s shoulder, “what do you think I should do, Haz?”

“Honestly, I can’t tell you that. But I want you to know that you’re not wrong for feeling and thinking this way. I can only imagine how I would feel if Niall came home with a son one day.”

Liam sighs because it’s not any help but he’s glad that at least someone doesn’t think he’s in the wrong. 

~~~ 

“We were very surprised you called Mr. Malik. We were told that you would probably take a while. Mrs. Hawke, the social worker that originally brought him to you, explained that you and your husband had a bit of a misunderstanding about the matter. Anyway, she said it would probably be weeks before you showed up here.”

Liam follows the young blonde social worker into the building. He had called and requested that he get to see Joel. He’s not sure what brought him here other than a sick fascination with learning more about the boy. It’s something he has to do for himself, and something that he has to do for Zayn as well. 

She leads him down a dimly lit corridor until they reach a small red door. She knocks lightly before she turns the handle and leads them inside. There is no one inside of it, but there is a small couch and chairs pressed against the wall and a table filled with magazines. It reminds Liam of a doctor’s waiting room. 

She instructs for him to have a seat and tells him that she’ll be back momentarily with the boy. 

It’s fifteen minutes of waiting before Liam hears the sound of the door creaking. He lifts his head up and waits. Finally he sees the little boy enter and Liam feels himself choke on his own breath. 

Liam kneels down on the floor and waits for the young boy to walk over towards him. Liam can tell already that he’s shy and nervous, probably not as nervous as Liam who is shaking with sweaty palms. 

Joel has the same jet-black hair as Zayn with a little button nose and it makes Liam want to cry with how adorable the boy is. His eyes are wide and a bright crystal green that he probably inherited from his mother but the dark charcoal lashes that line his eyes are so characteristic of Zayn and Liam is happy that someone else gets to have the world’s most beautiful eyelashes. Joel looks like a miniature carbon copy of Zayn except with glowing green where hazel should be.

The little boy brushes the hair from his face and asks, “who are you?”

“I’m Liam,” he smiles, “I’m a friend of your daddy.” He watches as Joel scans his face and his body. He sees his eyes flick with recognition and it confuses him. 

Joel nods and says, “Are you the Liam in the my daddy’s pictures?”

Liam blinks because he thought coming into this that Joel wouldn’t have any idea who he was. He had thought that they’d both be on the same page with each other, but as shocked as he’s glad that Zayn didn’t keep him a secret. “Yeah, I guess I am. Your daddy told you about me?”

“He said you’re Liam and you live with him and that’s why he can’t stay with me,” Joel explains. “He said I had mommy to keep me company but you didn’t have a mommy with you. But now I don’t have a mommy with me so I have to come stay with daddy and you.” 

Liam smiles and mutters a quiet ‘yeah’. He watches as the little boy begins to tell him stories about his mother and Las Vegas and the pretty lights he would get to see every night and that now he no longer gets to see the twinkling lights or his mommy but he’ll be able to see his daddy everyday. He talks about how much he loves Zayn and asks Liam about the turtles he heard live in their living room. He asks Liam if they’ll be able to watch Scooby Doo and color pictures of elephants and zebras because he saw them one time when Zayn had taken him to the zoo. 

It leaves Liam’s head spinning but he tries to swallow everything the little boy tells him. 

When the social worker comes back in to retrieve Joel he’s sad to see the boy go. Joel hugs him and promises that he’ll see Liam as soon as his daddy comes and picks him up. He kisses Liam on the cheek and skips out of the room. 

~~~

“What are you doing here Liam?” Louis says as he pulls his door open wider to allow Liam entry. 

Liam walks inside the small studio apartment and follows Louis over towards the couch and waits while Louis picks up the copies of the children’s books he still has to create audio for and dumps them on his bed that’s placed over in the corner of the room.

He waits until Louis comes back from the kitchen with two mugs full of tea and a harsh glare. “So what do you want? Come to tell me I’m a bad friend again?” Louis says as he passes Liam a mug and sits down in the chair across from him. “If that’s what you’re here for then you can save it because I’m not in the mood for it. I have two more books to finish recording tonight and it really is a waste of my time.” 

Liam sips his tea and feels himself shrinking under Louis’ glare, “I’m not going to do any of that. I’m really sorry for what I said to you.” 

Louis smiles over the brim of his cup and shrugs, “I mean if you really think I’m that horrible you shouldn’t be drinking my tea, now should you?” Louis sips his tea primly and Liam rolls his eyes knowing that Louis is enjoying watching him squirm. “So I heard you’re still not speaking to Zayn. Care to explain?”

Liam frowns in confusion, “did Harry tell you that?”

“Nope. Niall told me, and before you ask, no; Zayn told Niall. They had a heart to heart.”

“What’d he say to Niall?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you that, Liam. It’s not really my place,” Louis says as he stirs his tea slowly. “But I will tell you that Zayn pretty much hates himself and isn’t sleeping or eating and he’s scared of what’s going to happen with you two. You can be angry at him all you want and compare him to your exes all you want but at the end of the day he’s the only person who has ever given a shit about you. He hid this to protect you and he was scared to tell you because he didn’t want to hurt you. I mean he knew it was going to hurt you no matter what, but unlike your exes he gives a shit. So if you’re hear to insult my friend then you can leave because I’m not choosing sides.” 

Liam laughs light heartedly, “I’m not asking you to choose anything. Actually I came here because I need your help.” 

Louis raises an eyebrow and says, “with?”

~~~ 

Zayn’s car is parked in the driveway and his shoes are lying in the middle of the entryway; both characteristics signs that Zayn is in fact home and if Liam knows his husband like he thinks he does then he knows that he’ll be able to find Zayn lying face first on the couch. 

It’s an odd feeling of comfort and happiness to know that he was right and Zayn is indeed lying on his stomach with his face pressed deep into the leather. 

Liam kneels down next to him and cards his fingers through Zayn’s hair until he jolts awake with a gasp and startled eyes. Liam gets off his knees and sits on the ottoman and waits for Zayn to register what’s going on. 

“Liam?” Zayn says as he shifts his body around so he’s sitting up with deep imprints across his cheeks. “What do you—um is there anything—I mean, are we speaking to each other again?” His voice is deep from his nap and he’s rubbing his face up and down with the palms of his hands.

“I’m here to listen,” Liam says. “I realize that how I was acting really wasn’t very fair and a lot of it unwarranted, especially not having heard exactly what happened, because instead of listening I jumped to my own conclusions.” 

So Liam listens as Zayn explains that he would have never remembered who Ariel was if he hadn’t woken up passed out on the hotel room floor with a green-eyed blonde staring down at him demanding money. He says that he hadn’t planned on telling Liam about it because he couldn’t honestly remember what had happened and how even if they did have sex it was something meaningless that he had hoped would take his mind off the pain he felt at the possibility of no longer being with Liam. That it was that exact same pain that kept him from telling Liam when three months down the line he had gotten a phone call from Vegas from the same girl who had woken up that morning. She had managed to retrieve his number from the agency she works for. 

He listens as Zayn explains that, yeah, he did have his doubts about him being the father but he wasn’t going to force her into an abortion or adoption when she so adamantly wanted to keep the child. And the paternity test after he was born wasn’t anything to argue with. He faked the business trips as a way to go and see his son and ever since the first lie he had felt sick to his stomach and disgusted with himself and as time went on he wasn’t sure how to correct it. He only knew how to keep it going because Liam was happy and he just couldn’t fuck that up.

Because all Zayn wanted was for them to, one day, be able to work together as a family with a son that got to visit them and would one day come to see Liam the same way he does. It’s when he gets to the part that he starts talking about how all he’s ever wanted was a family with Liam, even if that meant with only Joel and not their own kids that Zayn starts crying. 

Liam sits down next to him and the couch and pulls him close, rubbing his back and let him know that it’s okay because even though Liam isn’t happy but he understands. He doesn’t get it but he understands. 

Zayn laughs and wipes his eyes, “so are you still mad at me?”

“Obviously,” Liam chuckles, “but I don’t want to lose you over something that there isn’t any cure for besides acceptance.” 

“Well it doesn’t really matter anymore,” Zayn says as he pulls himself away from Liam’s arms to look down at the floor. “I called the social workers because I knew I couldn’t wait much longer so I called them and Joel’s not even there anymore and as part of some bullshit confidentiality agreement they won’t tell me where.” 

Liam bites his lip because just as Zayn finishes talking the doorbell rings. He gets up and goes to answer it. 

He takes his time and waits until Zayn says, “Li, whose at the—” and Zayn stops and freezes when he sees Liam standing in the foyer with Joel peeking out from behind his legs. And it takes what feels like minutes for him to register what is going on. “Joel?”

“Hi daddy,” Joel says as he carefully steps out in front of Liam and drops his red backpack on the floor. He’s clutching a turtle in his arms and smiling widely as he runs over and jumps into Zayn’s arms. 

And Liam watches from the doorway as Zayn presses kiss after kiss to Joel’s head and brushes his hair back and listens as Joel recounts meeting Liam at the grey building he was waiting in, and how Liam had taken him and brought him to a man named Louis’ house. How Louis had taken him out for ice cream and played a tape in his car of his voice reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’. 

And Liam watches with a soft smile and doesn’t miss when Zayn locks eyes with him and mouths a thank you. 

~~~ 

It was an evening filled with stories about the grey building and introductions to Liam’s turtles and plans to convert the guest bedroom into Joel’s bedroom. Joel had insisted he gets a green blanket and blue walls and that he wants to get a train set because they had one at the grey building that he liked to play with. He also shows them the four audio books that Louis had given him to put in a bookshelf that he’ll probably end up needing. And Joel won’t go to sleep until all of his framed photographs are placed on the bedside table. 

Once they get him wrapped up in the thick duvet and put on one of the audio books to help soothe him to sleep, per his request, are they finally able to retreat into their bedroom and wrap each other up with their limbs. 

“He looks like you,” Liam says as he readjusts his head from its position on Zayn’s shoulder. “I mean, it shouldn’t be surprising, but. I think I’d have a harder time with this if he wasn’t so much like you.”

Zayn repositions himself so that Liam is no longer resting on top of him but rather next to him so they can properly look at each other, “thank you, for bringing him here. I mean. I know I would have done it but you have no idea how much it means to me that you sought him out.” 

Liam shrugs because it didn’t matter how angry he was with Zayn or how hard it had hit him in the chest that there were secrets floating between them. None of that of that mattered when he realized what he’d be throwing away. And so he sighs and wraps himself tighter around Zayn and says, “I was curious about him. And it’ll take time, but. I mean if I can love you as much as I do then, well I can’t just reject an extension of you. And I mean, this just, I mean it feels right having him here.”

And Zayn doesn’t know what to say so Liam kisses him and hopes they’ll find the words in each other of their life, their future, and their newfound family.


End file.
